When children and teens imagine their summer break, thoughts of freedom, no homework sleeping in and hanging out with friends are top of mind. The concepts of unpredictability, increased time with parents and feeling exhausted from shifting sleep schedules are conveniently not part of their “summer vibe.”

However, the reality is that the transition from school to summer can be a real challenge for both kids and their parents. We know that all young people thrive with a solid routine and lots of structure. The loss of a predictable “safe zone” at school can lead to tricky behavioral issues such as tantrums, rule-breaking, increased arguments and defiance. This is particularly true for kids and teens with ADHD and anxiety.

So, the question becomes, “how do we set our kids up to have a successful transition from school to summer?” Integrative Therapy & Coaching has identified strategies designed to minimize stress, reduce arguments and ultimately, to have a pleasant and fun summer break!

1. Make Plans

If your child or teen is enrolled in a summer camp or enrichment program that begins later in the summer, don’t allow them to spend their days sitting at home playing video games or watching TV. Try to schedule social and outdoor activities as much as possible…and keep your kid posted. Knowing that they have something on the calendar – whether it’s dinner at a relative’s house or attending a sporting event – can provide grounding for kids and teens. The scheduled “plan” helps them to structure the rest of their day.

2. Establish Boundaries and a Behavioral System

At school, kids and teens abide by a behavior system that requires them to follow a clear set of rules and boundaries. While our kids often complain to us about having to follow school rules, the truth is that knowing exactly what is expected of them results in a sense of security and safety. Particularly, knowing that good behavior can lead to positive reinforcement and rewards while bad behavior means negative consequences. The freedom and escape from strict teachers and school rules can often leave kids feeling unsettled and unsure of appropriate boundaries. This is where parents and caregivers can have an open conversation with their child or teen about specific behaviors – both positive and negative. This kind of clear expectation setting also provides parents with structure around rewards and consequences. Pick 2 behaviors that – when demonstrated by your child – will be met with attention, praise and consistent positive reinforcement. On the flip-side, when kids act out, try to ignore this behavior as the goal is for children and teens to learn that good choices are rewarded while poor choices get them nowhere and drive parental attention away.

3. Keep a Routine

Try to keep daily routines as similar as possible to what they are during the school year. Kids should wake up and go to bed at the same time each day, have the same meal structure and timing and the same technology limits. Although it can be tempting to let your kids stay up late or sleep-in (allowing you to do the same!) sticking to a schedule reinforces the structure and stability that kids and teens need. When kids know what to expect, they can build their independence and minimize anxiety as the next steps are clear.

4. Be Patient with Yourself

Even with the best planning and effort on your part, negative behaviors will still occur. Evidence shows summer break often contributes to regression in academics (summer slide), social skills and emotion regulation in children and teens. We encourage you to “plan for the best and prepare for the worst.” Giving yourself and your partner grace and compassion during tough times with your child or teen will allow you to stay calm and remain firm vs. losing your temper. While scheduling events and outings for your loved one, be sure to block off time for self-care and personal relaxation. And if you find yourself needing more support, reach out to us for parenting therapy, family counseling or other adolescent counseling services. You’ve got this!

We are here to help you best support your child’s needs and navigate the best next steps. Integrative Therapy and Coaching offers a FREE 15-minute consultation with our Clinical Director in hopes we can recommend resources or provide service to best support your child or teen’s diagnosis, academic interventions and clinical support. We are known for our adolescent counseling services, integrative psychotherapy and emotion regulation therapy. We see the value in mindfulness when providing services such as family counseling in CT and Psychotherapy in CT. If you would like to learn more about our resources and the network we share, contact us today to schedule your FREE consultation!